just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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