I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
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the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
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So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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