found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
