I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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