I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with