You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS