My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex