Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.