no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
