Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
