the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
