You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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