i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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