Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
