I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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