home. puking in laundry basket.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
