all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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