what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
