She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
