you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
