yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
