i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i can't believe i had my finger in that
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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