I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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