the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
