Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
