I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
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What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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