they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
