I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
