I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
