Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
high people should be assigned attendants
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
