Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Fuck appropriateness.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
