As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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