It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
