lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
