Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Is it because I queefed?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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