I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
