Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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