everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
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Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
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Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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