you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize