Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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