there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
