dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
