I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Randomize
