if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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