shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
high people should be assigned attendants
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You are a genius and a whore.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
