U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
