she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
