my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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