i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
