i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
