it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I have aggressive nipples.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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