We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
