You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
