thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
