My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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