Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
