unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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