Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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