what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
so let's talk penis.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
