but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
