if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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