I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
