he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
