He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
