Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
if only i could text you this smell
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
