I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize