i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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